St-Hair-io-Typing

A friend-of-a-friend has been so uncool as to join facebook but not post a photo of his face! I have never met this friend-of-a-friend, but I hear about him so much that I find myself trying to construct his appearance through snippets of information. I can do ok, I think, in a generic, police-sketch, could-be-anybody-sorta kind of way.

I find now, likely due to the fact that men are almost constantly in hats (ball caps are awful, men, please stop) these days, I have trouble picturing realistic male haircuts in my mind. I can write them okay, since they come from my imagination, but I have difficulty guessing what haircuts which guy will have.

Instead, if someone gives me a general description of a guy, I simply supply a "type" hairdo, and that is what he's stuck with. I have even pin-pointed the general trends, plotting where film and TV have supplied data not offered by my eyes, based on other descriptors I have been given about the guy. Some examples:

1. "Blond" - He has the Luke Skywalker in my head.


2. "Dark haired" - He is suddenly sporting the Erik Estrada.


3. "Republican" - Nothing short of the Johnny Unitas will do.


4. "Democrat" - He gets his hair done at the same place as George Harrison.


5. "Trendy boy" - He is inevitably some variation on Meg Ryan.


6. "Square" - He is Stephen Harper.



This is not right. Will I have to go to cosmetology school just to solve this issue, or shall I just grow accustomed to, and accept, these Starsky and Hutch wigs of my imagination born from the crassest of profiling?

Or maybe I just need more sleep...