A Moment of Personal Reflection

To be honest, I think I might need a break, though I am not usually a "take a break" person. I like going full-out, normally. I run best at "tense." I love being busy, most of the time, as long as I feel it's good, worthy work.

Recently, I have been having those "Why not give this gig up?" thoughts, which I'm sure happens to many writers (especially those of us who write along side a day job while also juggling a family). Without a real sense that it's worth it, it's hard to keep it all up at times.

Right now, I'm just not sure I'm enjoying this. Much of the writing process isn't jump-up-n-down enjoyable; some of it is often frustrating, depressing, draining and dull. A lot of it is very hard work, and time consuming to boot. I know this, have always known and accepted this, but usually I can find purpose and energy in the toil, because the enjoyable parts make it worth it. In general, I am most happy when industrious. This week, I might be flagging a bit, and feeling like all of this is just a high tech version of talking to myself.

Maybe I just need a new contract to re-energize me. This could merely be a between-contract lull for me. Or, perhaps after this WIP and the edits I have to do, I should take a break until NaNo, and see how I feel then.

Of course, this might just be a whim that passes - or it could be a sign that I'm ready to pick up my toys and go home. I'm simply not sure, yet.

Or, maybe I'm just coming down with something - that's always possible as well. :p