Daily Dose of Frustration: Non-"Zany" Need Not Apply

Right now, I looking for a publisher for my new novel - my NaNo story, which is currently in editing and re-writing. I am hoping to submit by the fall, so I'm casting around for the best shot for publishing. I am looking for something mid-class this time - not too small, but not too lofty, either. Some company that sees half decent sales, makes some token effort at marketing and can help me produce a quality book. Not too huge a list of wants.

This week, I came across this lovely little snippet on a submission instructions page of a mid-range ebook pub:

Contemporary Romance: Fun and whimsical, these books should showcase your sense of humor and focus on a modern couple in a zany situation.

"Zany"?

Really?

Zany only, huh?

Damn you Bridget Jones. Damn you.

So, fine. I understand that people like zany. I can appreciate that. I love Bridget Jones, actually. But, honestly, is this the only market out there? Readers only want to read zany romance (if it doesn't involve sulky vampires, that is)?

My NaNo novel is not a zany romance, nor is Strings Attached. Now, this does not mean I am devoid of humour (in fact, my new WIP is a comedy), but these first couple of full lengths are serious contemporary romances. Not quite melodrama, but focusing on honest emotions and mature, realistic people. Not zany people.

(Zany people are, like, girls who wear red dresses a lot, which randomly get blown up by the wind, right, and inexplicably carry bunches of daisies way too often? Zany guys, I can only assume, wear a messenger bag all the time.)

(Yeah, I don't have any of those.)

So, it seems I am simply not zany enough for the category of contemporary romance in today's market.

Perhaps I should see if I can re-write into it a pouty nosferatu as Plan B...